Hunting Schedule

1:00 am - Alarm clock rings.
2:00 am - Hunting partners arrive, Drag you out of bed.
2:30 am - Throw everything except the kitchen sink into the pickup.
3:00 am - Leave for the deep woods.
3:15 am - Drive back home and pick up gun.
3:30 am - Drive like hell to get to the woods before daylight.
4:00 am - Set up camp - Forgot the damn tents.
4:30 am - Head into the woods.
7:00 am - See 8 point deer.........
7:06 am - Take aim and squeeze trigger.
7:07 am - CLICK!!
7:08 am - Load gun while watching deer go over hill.
9:00 am - Head back to camp.
10:00 am - Still looking for camp.
11:00 am - Realize you don't know where camp is.......
12:00 pm - Fire gun for help - Eat wild berries.
12:15 pm - Run out of bullets - 8 point deer comes back.
12:30 pm - Strange feeling in Stomach.
12:31 pm - Realize you ate "Poison Berries".
12:45 pm - Rescued!!
12:55 pm - Rushed to hospital to get stomach pumped.
2:00 pm - Arrive back at camp.
2:30 pm - Leave camp to kill deer.
3:00 pm - Return to camp for bullets.
3:01 pm - Load gun - Leave camp again.
4:00 pm - Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you.
5:00 pm - Arrive at camp - see deer grazing in camp.
5:01 pm - Load gun.
5:02 pm - Fire gun.
5:03 pm - One dead pick up truck.
6:05 pm - Hunting partner returns to camp dragging deer.
6:06 pm - Repress strong desire to shoot partner.
6:07 pm - Fall into fire.
6:10 pm - Change clothes, throw burned ones into fire.
7:15 pm - Take pick up, leave partner and his deer.
7:23 pm - Pick up boils over because of hole in block.
7:26 pm - Start walking.
7:30 pm - Stumble and fall, drop gun in the Mud.
8:35 pm - Meet Bear.
8:36 pm - Take aim.
8:37 pm - Fire gun, Blow up barrel plugged with mud.
8:38 pm - Mess pants.
8:39 pm - Climb tree.
10:00 pm - Bear departs, wrap @*#$%&^! Gun around tree.....
Midnight - Home at last!!!!!!!!!
Next day - Watch football game on TV, while tearing license into little pieces, place into
envelope and mail to Game Warden with very clear instruction on where to place it!!!!!!